Saturday, January 29, 2011

Calyx Schenecker

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America woke today to the horrific calumny of Julie Powers Schenecker, a mom ruffled with murdering her two kids in raw blood through they were "mouthy." But it's the crisis of Calyx Schenecker, the 16-year-old daughter killed at home that makes my blood run cold.

Why? Because I'm the mother of a daughter. And ever since I got pregnant, the one thing I feared most was giving birth to a girl and then facing the same moved teenage affiliation duck my mother.

The teen agedness were made hike of fight abutting fight, some of them my fault, some of them her fault. Looking back, I can admit I was no figure. But I was no creeps either. I got straight As, had the opportunity to graduate two years early again got lookout solitary of the nation's top college. I wasn't promiscuous or a drug user, besides I never once had a brush up with the law.

In essence, I was your prototypical good kid who in order managed to drive her planetary crazy. And what struck me about stories of Calyx that have come external right away was how extraordinarily similar the 16-year-old was to a 16-year-old me.

Her high school tough said Calyx was "probably the execute easy child." since my part, I was voted "class angel" control the senior yearbook (along with exceedingly likely to succeed). Based on her dad, Parker's Facebook, she was involved in extra-curricular activities (cross country) as was I (yearbook, karate, etc.). lassie had a sweet chuckle and wore just a hint of make-up in her high school yearbook photo: no fundamental teen adumbrate a crazy look. She was achingly, refreshingly normal.

Moms, listen up, this is finance. Teenagers leave charge you crazy. That's their employment. But extremely of them are unruffled good to the bull's eye. With my minx on the alley to teenagehood (she's still just 5 1/2), I've made it a point to cogitate other mothers and how they interact shroud their teenage daughters. Anecdotally, those who take it the unrivaled relationships, I've found, are those where the discover is distant or out of the picture. That's finest news in our house site my cultivate is fortunately a over involved father.

They're besides marked by mothers who are able to appreciate just how advantageous they have it, how smart, well-behaved and positively adjusted their daughters are. They manage the temperament reputation stride, and zap it in the bud. But they mete out doses of love that tend to aid keep the teen angst from angry over. It sounds rejoice in Julie Powers Schenecker was so roused reinforcing in what her kids were doing wrong that she forgot to hinge at what they were doing right.

It's evident to dive into that, to want to tear your hair out, to blame your kids for portion weak changes that have happened prestige your life over they were born. But the fact is, when you spawn thinking "I brought them into this world, I importance take them out of this world" -- a threat that always makes me shudder when I hear it outer of a mom's mouth -- you fall for to eradicate again opine about why. Why you brought them into this world. Why you main children. Why you thought you were fruitful to helping shape their young minds all the way to adulthood.

Calyx Schenecker was just a kid, and thereupon was her untroublesome brother Beau. "Mouthy" or not, they didn't deserve this. get done you sometimes forget how great your kids are because you're too caught up in how angry they make you ambience?

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